Amos, obsolete.

It has recently been pointed out to me (nice use of passive voice, no?) that I have not written enough about a certain someone on this book’s site.

Who is these people who it who has been pointed outed this to me has been? I cannot categorize them. They are straight, gay, black, white, male, female, young and old. And that’s just the couple next door! Don’t even listen to me. Point: people keep asking me why I haven’t posted pictures of my dog.

Top three reasons:

1-I don’t want to scare people away from this site. In other words: I want people not to realize how dog-nutty I am. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m the kind of woman who loses it like a drunk toddler every time she sees something with four-legs on the street. Because I’m not. Shut up.

2-Ostensibly, this blog is about the book OBSOLETE and the general topic of obsolescence. Right? Right. Well, simply put, my dog isn’t obsolete. He also isn’t much for books and doesn’t ever have rhapsodizing thoughts about the ocean waves lapping against the beach and washing away the footprints of our lives. He’s more interested in Kant.

3-I hadn’t seen him in six weeks.

I’ve been traveling a lot, and so my 16-pound Yorkie/Poodle, Amos, has spent more than a month with my family and friends at my stepdad’s distillery where I’ve been living part-time for a few months. Amos is a rock-and-roll star in these parts.  Recently I was told that people sometimes call after touring the distillery just to say that Amos was their favorite part of the tour. I know, right?  So, anyway, while I was away, I kept getting reports about how great he was doing, how happy he was, etc. All good…except I felt a l bit bruised in the ego area. Wasn’t he normally so great and fun and loved and happy because I am so great and  fun and loved and happy? Because I’m not. Shut up.

Does this mean that my dog and I are judged as one in this world? I hope so. He is just a really great dog. So, that was part of it. I guess. I don’t mean to psychoanalyze myself, but I think the other part was that I just wanted to imagine he was pouting in a corner writing me sonnets. An hirsute Prince Charming. Needless to say, when we finally had our reunion a few days ago, he didn’t kiss my feet. He was like six out of 10 on the excited barometer. And that really wasn’t good enough for me.

He’s grown a little warmer towards me in the last few hours. This might because a few hours ago I set up a whole photo shoot for him. Bonding time! Just like JonBenét and Patsy Ramsey!

Why a photo shoot? To put him on this site. And why would it make sense to put a picture of him on your site? Well, someone pointed out to me that I have a series of photos on this blog of cute animals posing with obsolete objects. This is true. Well, now, said person said: Your book is OBSOLETE, and he’s cute… This is true: also, books are arguably becoming obsolete, and OBSOLETE is indeed a book. Soooo… I present:

CUTE ANIMALS WITH OBSOLETE OBJECTS: Vol. IV, Is. 1

It wasn’t until after I shot this that I saw that the page he was turned to was “Body Hair.”

Maybe Amos is obsolete after all.